Bio of the Larch

My bio is under lock and key at NASA and will be released as soon as all principle parties have expired. 

My paintball skills are so powerful they can be seen from outer space by the naked eye.

The letters in my name can be rearranged to spell doom in twelve different languages, including Esperanto, but not French.

I wear a live rattlesnake as a condom.

I once burned down an entire forest when I was experimenting with water.

There are in fact 31 letters of the English Alphabet however only I know what the extra 5 letters are.

If you want a list of my enemies just check the extinct species list.

I have never blinked in my entire life. Never. Not once, even during allergy season.