PSYCHO CLOWN
I am Psycho Clown, your worst nightmare.

You will learn to fear me as I stalk you through the woods, cackling like a maniac, howling like a banshee, and laughing my ass off like a deranged hyena.

Then I shoot you. 

A lot.

I'm getting all giggly now, just thinking of it.
I shoot paintball as an outlet. I have not had much stress relief since the Fort Worth Zoo banned me for giving an STD to their wolverines. I really miss them little fuzzy guys.
The AKC has also banned me. Apparently there is some kind of problem with attending dog shows with your pants stuffed with bacon.
I just LOVE pain games. Long, multi hopper pain games, where I walk off the feild with a dozen welts.

And you walk off with two dozen.

That's the life. Giving more than you take. Because taking more than you give is just rude.

And we can't have that now, can we?